Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
