The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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