All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
