Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
