whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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