I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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