sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
