im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
