awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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