you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
