i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
