My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
