ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
