all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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