okay pat passed out under dana's car
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
