I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
i think im in europe. pls send help
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