Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
