remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
