God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize