How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
he fucked my hip out of place.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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