sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
