My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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