Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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