I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
