Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
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