once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
