:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
