stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
The air taste purple.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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