All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
