I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
