i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
