Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
