I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize