Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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