So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
