The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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