marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
