I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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