Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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