physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
