your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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