Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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