dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
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