What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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