Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
