why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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