Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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