it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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