That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
