There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
