just survived the first fart of the relationship.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize