I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
