Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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