life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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