Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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