Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
