i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
my poor anus
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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