I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i will never coherently bang her
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
