Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
