i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize