I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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